I have an angel girlfriend and she has wings, just so you know. It kind of sucks because when we go out to the grocery store to get pasta and vegetables or to the costume place to buy Halloween stuff her wings fill up the whole room and the cashier and other customers get disgruntled. That's not even getting started on the apartment-feathers in the pots, the pans, caught on the light fixtures, stuck to the greasy tiles on the bathroom floor.

I make her take them off in bed because I hate how it feels to have them pressed up against me. And the texture of the feathers. Dusty and sharp. Really hate it. Sorry if that's fucked up to say but if you don't hate one thing about every person you love you're lying or maybe I'm just a mean person, you can say that, it's fine.

Moles march. Mysteriously, menacingly, moles move. Mountains mark measly millstones. Mole-mines manufacture massive missiles, mole-mechs, missile-moles. Moreover, million-mole multitudes mount mastodons, mobilizing.

Men muster militaries, mad marshalls maligning mellow M14-men. Marine munitions murder moles massive misfortune! Motorized muzzles mow most moles morose. Many miles meld moles, men: moaning, misfiring, meandering, madness.

First I said I was allergic. She said no one's allergic to clouds. I threw a decorative pillow at her pretty hard. It hit her in the chest. She looked pathetic and went off to work and I sat at the desk all day and watched the front door in the reflection of my computer screen and got really sad, feeling bad for her which translated mostly into feeling bad for myself. We stayed in for dinner and I cooked spaghetti. She waved her hand at it to make it get cold in the pot. My girlfriend is an actual angel from heaven and she has heaven powers by the way.

We chewed very quietly. We set our forks down on our folded cloth napkins next to our plates without making any noise. She said I don't want to bring it up again but yes fine I can take my wings off in bed. That night she did and there were huge meaty wounds on her back. Which wasn't my fault. She just kind of unhooked them.

I have an angel girlfriend and by the way I'm the worst person in the whole world. Even though she put them back on in the morning, like seriously, that's what she did and it was fine. This isn't a metaphor or anything, this is just how things are when you live in New York City. In a few days it'll be Halloween. I've gotta RSVP online to our friends' party. She really wants to go because we bought costumes where she's a devil and I'm an angel. I think they're maybe in bad taste but she thinks it's funny and I like when she's happy so it's whatever I guess.